February 9, 2011


"Mom! I KNOW!",  she said, standing, confident and exasperated, with hands on her hips.

This is the child who never raises her voice, who always has a smile, who helps others without being asked and who inspires me to be a better person each day of my life. 

A child who is now annoyed with her mother.

Rightly so, I must admit. But in all fairness, I'm just being the same mom doing what I always do. When did she change? When did she not need me to suggest ways to convey her wishes or encouragement to take part in certain endeavors?  

It's been so gradual I haven't even noticed. She has always had freedom and choice but still  always wanted my input or needed my advice.

I have noticed her increased confidence. I know she values herself and her time immensely. I know she is very choosy about what she does and who she spends her time with. And I guess with all of this comes that confidence to be more independent and handle life herself. A stepping stone of life, of freedom.

She is not antagonistic, she is not terrible, she is not rebellious nor self-centered or any other negative word that people use to describe a teen.

She is just growing up. She is becoming independent. She is feeling confident enough to handle what comes her way herself. And that IS what we want for our children. 

So now it is ME who has to change. I need to back up, breathe, and wait and see IF she needs a suggestion or guidance from me, for I am always here for her.

I suppose I could feel a bit sad that she doesn't need me like she used to, but why would I, when I know she is blossoming into a confident, self-assured young woman who believes in herself and trusts her own judgement.
As we continue our journey in life, we are emerging from the child and parent partnership to  becoming new partners, woman to woman and friend to friend.  
And how glorious that each stage in life has gifts for us to enjoy and savor . . . just like each season in nature does.

  happy day!  happy life!


softearthart said...

So true this letting go for a Mother is so hard, I liken it to elastic around your waist and hers, it is becoming more stretchy and will soon become very stretchy, but the good thing is, you are still forever tied together with love, and that is the main thing, cheers Marie

Unknown said...

AMAZING! As the mother of a 17yr old girl who has made this transition already, I have to say that it has been an absolutely incredible journey in self discovery for both of us. I am now facing yet another journey with my soon to be 13 yr old.

W-S Wanderings said...

Ahhh, you have captured this lifestage well, from both perspectives. We mamas are required to be flexible creatures, aren't we?

Anonymous said...

I am going through this transition too - with my nearly 13 year old. It is difficult sometimes, but I just have to remember that there will be moments of discovery and joy within this transition time. (If only I could remember this during the difficult times - when she is being defiant and surly.)

: ) Karen

Unknown said...

Sounds like you have done a wonderful job at parenting. A beautiful daughter you have.